You may be shocked at this revelation but trade show keynotes can be rather dusty affairs. At the best of times, they lack as much interest as the Round-Up's savings account. They're duller than The Very Very Best of Watching Paint Dry, volumes one to 10. So German trade show CeBIT scored a major win this week by having Arnold Schwarzenegger - yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger - give its opening keynote.

arnold show schwarzenegger round trade interest savings keynotes revelation affairs give week duller weekly keynote times rather account major dusty

As the world plunges deeper and deeper into recession there are big changes afoot in the technology industry. Top of the list - a huge reversal of roles in one of the most fundamental divides in the corporate landscape - the client-supplier relationship.

deeper roles fundamental reversal industry plunges recession ntop corporate landscape technology weekly list divides changes world huge round client afoot

How are we feeling today? Chilled? Relaxed? Not a care in the world?

nchill care round relax weekly world feeling

The recession is dampening many areas of IT - but not environmental impact. Quocirca's Clive Longbottom looks at how cost-cutting and green go hand in hand. The 'green' hype seems so last year. Today's poor market conditions have refocused business minds on survival, rather than ensuring organisations have a solid environmental plan. Despite this, Quocirca expects to see a lot more green messaging in the coming months.

green hand quocirca environmental rather recession cost minds expects hype year dead plan looks solid nthe impact conditions refocus organisations

There's always a lot of discussion about what job CIOs should aim for after their stint as head of IT, and millions of words expended on the thorny issue of whether CIOs have a chance at bagging the prized CEO role. So it's interesting that a former CIO has landed just such a top job today - and a pretty high profile one as well.

cios thorny bagging stint editor millions interesting footballing chance role head high land discussion always words ciothere former expend profile

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. That short statement is almost certainly enough to cost the Round-Up a significant portion of its readership, right now, this minute.

round certainly significant readership minute nthat valentine weekly cost statement tomorrow portion short

It only took a light dusting of snow to bring the south of England to a slippery, sliding halt earlier this week. You may have noticed. As the snow came down, mobile usage went up. Monday between 7am and 8.30am saw a massive spike in texts and calls as commuters rang work with sob stories about being trapped behind gigantic snow drifts of nearly three inches, or pinned down by marauding gangs of snowball-wielding 11-year-olds.

snow mobile notic round olds snowball halt drifts south pin massive week usage between story gangs gigantic dusting commuters trap

Managing log files may seem like a mundane issue but doing it well tightens data security and boosts compliance efforts, says Quocirca's Fran Howarth. Managing risk, compliance and security are objectives that still need to be achieved even while organisations rush to cut costs.

compliance security howarth seem fran data rush boosts issue says tightens crunch neglect risk bites files achiev objectives nmanaging efforts

It's not always the events of high drama that can disrupt the working week. Today it's the homogeneous nucleation of cloud droplets that only occurs at temperatures colder than -35° (thanks Wikipedia) - which to you and me is also known as snow. And as Wikipedia further points out, substantial snowfall can disrupt public infrastructure and services, slowing human activity even in regions that are accustomed to such weather.

disrupt working wikipedia snow nucleation home points always high colder slowing cloud homogeneous human services editor known snowfall substantial blog

Bandwidth, bandwidth everywhere - but not a spot of work being done. The less connected you are, the more productive you'll be. At least, that's how it works for the Round-Up. Rather than offering the ability to work harder, a broadband connection means speedy access to sites offering amusingly captioned pictures of cute cats, online time-wasting games often involving penguins, and the ability to receive emails from friends, usually featuring amusingly captioned pictures of cute cats and links to sites offering penguin-based games.

offering cats sites cute ability round amusingly games pictures caption less connect spot productive featuring often least receive penguin penguins

What's behind Microsoft's hard times? It's not just the economic downturn, says Quocirca's Simon Perry. It's also a fundamental shift in enterprise hardware. Microsoft's 22 January announcement of relatively poor financial performance, together with news of the first job cuts in its 34-year history has added to the gloom already felt on Wall Street.

microsoft wall says history nmicrosoft perry quocirca street shift simon economic downturn news times ad cuts year relatively already felt

Usually when I meet a technology company boss for the first time, he is itching to fire off a payload of marketing speak - hoping to persuade me with talk of world-leading seamless end-to-end solutions, and the such like. At that point in the conversation I usually retreat into my bunker of journalistic scepticism and wait until they run out of ammunition.

marketing technology talk meet usually bunker winning boss payload solutions blog fire conversation leading editor itching speak speakusually wait scepticism

The Round-Up looks back at its school days with a sense of misty nostalgia, tempered by a certain amount of relief that they are over forever. But one cherished memory is the time the computer 'lab' took first delivery of six Dragon 32s. Such elegance, such processing power, undreamed of by most mortals in 1983.

round amount certain misty cherish memory elegance sense forever delivery weekly processing lab computer looks mortals nostalgia school temper nbut

The UK's most optimistic businessman is operating on my high street. I know this because I've seen him there, beaming with pride outside his brand new, gleaming... estate agency.

optimistic editor operating seen street beaming outside brand agency gleaming estate pride high entrepreneur blog businessman

A career in technology is full of glamour, excitement and many-coloured Ethernet cables. Sadly, given the long hours there's little time for love and romance. Plus, if we are to put any credence behind the old myth, techies are about as adept at romance as elephants are at C++ coding.

romance love coding career techy glamour myth adept technology excitement nsadly elephants given colour plus full weekly cables behind ethernet

Phones, mobiles and email are essential to running any business. So how can you reduce telecoms costs? Quocirca's Rob Bamforth offers some advice. There is no doubt that many companies as well as individuals will look to keep budgets under control throughout 2009 - and Quocirca research frequently shows that telecommunications is regarded as one of the more difficult cost areas to constrain.

quocirca regard under offers difficult constrain reduce research company individuals frequently telecoms advice telecom running five bamforth mobiles shows spendphones

You've got to feel sorry for 2009. Usually in January, a year is still a newborn innocent, the long months ahead stretching out in front of it, full of wonder and mystery. But not 2009, oh no.

newborn stretching innocent weekly round january sorry months wonder front nusually full ahead feel mystery year

Though not the sexiest hardware, printers are a key office resource and a headache to manage. Quocirca's Louella Fernandes describes how new services are making the job easier. In today's business environment of ever-increasing competition, a manufacturer's service organisation can be the key differentiator in winning and keeping customers. The challenge is to deliver high-margin services to a wider customer base while retaining tight control of service operations costs.

service services customers deliver retaining manufacturer environment printers keeping differentiator office louella manage describes base challenge operations business ever organisation

Happy New Year to you all! Sometimes it can seem a little miserable, braving the arctic conditions to get back into the office in gloomy, early January after the fun of Christmas, so I'm pleased we can start the year with some great news - we've launched a new site section called silicon.com CIO Insights. silicon.com is well known for its strong relationships with the CIO community in the UK, and the aim of this new section is to bring together some of the fantastic content from across silicon.com which is not just about but also by CIOs.

year silicon section launch across nsilicon editor sometimes news known miserable gloomy great blog strong content conditions bring christmas seem

One sign (in case you needed any more) that we are wading through the murky depths of recession is that we stop upgrading and start making do with the stinky old things we've been meaning to replace for ages. By which the Round-Up is referring to hardware and software and the like (rather than - say - husbands and wives, although there is probably a bit of that too).

round depths weekly although making case murky rather upgrading referring meaning ages start recession hardware stinky stop need sign replace

The recession is forcing businesses to search for ways to cut costs - and unified comms is one place many will start, says Quocirca's Bob Tarzey. As politicians quibble about whether a recession is turning into a depression, businesses are more focused on the bottom line. For IT departments this means two things: cutting their own costs and helping the broader business to cut its costs. Achieving the latter will serve the long term reputation of IT well.

costs business recession unified departments quibble comms dawn broader ways term helping search quocirca focus line turning depression tarzey latter

Just because you can technically do something, doesn't always mean that you should. Like running the London Marathon dressed as Mr Blobby, marrying the first person who asks or taking on the plate-size Yorkshire pudding filled to the gills with chicken tikka on sale at the Round-Up's local. In the tech world, one project that was the perfect example of the 'don't do it just because you can' ethos hit the buffers this week.

round gills tech mean always week marrying buffers running marathon local yorkshire dress plate project weekly blobby fill london taking

You may have noticed that things move around a lot in supermarkets. You're not going mad, it's happening. They're doing it on purpose, the swines. The idea is that supermarkets move produce from aisle to aisle to encourage you to buy different things to those you'd normally buy when you stumble across unfamiliar stock in familiar places.

aisle move supermarkets across familiar stock places idea swines normally encourage produce weekly round happening nthe notic unfamiliar stumble purpose

1 April - that one day of the year that hitherto sensible companies decide to muscle in on the Round-Up's territory and show the world quite how funny technology can be. Of course it's not just IT companies that enjoy a good April Fool's gag - but this year most of the best jokes had at least a sprinkling of tech fairy dust on top. So the Round-Up thought some kind of…round-up might be in order.

round april company year decide least order muscle thought territory kind fairy world fool tech jokes dust funny sprinkling enjoy

Looking to cut IT costs? Quocirca's Louella Fernandes says managed print services can bring savings to many organisations. The tough economic climate has led businesses to tighten their belts, and as a significant cost centre, IT is often the focus for cost reduction measures. Many organisations have frozen new capital expenditure and are looking to make much better use of their existing assets.

cost organisations reduction quocirca tighten business louella tough belts assets bring existing nthe expenditure manag during costs centre significant often

Q: How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, it's a hardware problem. Ahem.

hardware does weekly programmers round light bulb computer nahem

The RSA Conference in San Francisco, the big annual get together for the great and the good of corporate IT security, is just getting under way - and I'll be reporting from it all this week. One of the nice quirks of the event is that each year it chooses an historical theme around IT security - this year the focus is on Edgar Allan Poe. Poe was fascinated by cryptography, often concealing hidden messages in his works, and even once challenged his readers to submit their codes to him - which he then claimed to crack.

security year under conference storythe often quirks focus chooses messages corporate annual francisco cryptography edgar claim hidden once historical getting

If you want to make sure your systems are safe from hackers, you've got to test, test, test, says Quocirca's Fran Howarth. The top two threats facing organisations today are web-based applications and end users, according to information security researcher the Sans Institute.

test systems according hack hackers nthe researcher base facing institute security sans fran says howarth information applications threats organisations quocirca

The Round-Up isn't much of a Twitterer. Or should that be tweeter? Or twitteriser? Anyway, the Round-Up doesn't do it - although silicon.com does and you can find it here. It's not that there wouldn't be lots to tweet about, and it would be easy to keep Round-Up fans on tenterhooks waiting for each 140-character update, ("Sitting at desk", "Drinking tea", "Staring at a pencil", "Thinking about making tea") it's just that the Round-Up ain't the sharing kind. And besides, 140 characters is waaay too small a character count to play with.

round character besides pencil waaay silicon although wouldn weekly does characters staring sharing keep count tweet anyway waiting twitterer making

Tooth or dare? You've bought your boss coffee every morning for a month. And sometimes even a muffin, too. You came up with the idea that saved the company a million quid off the IT budget and you had the company logo tattooed on your chest for charity.

company idea million chest month charity dare round save quid nyou weekly morning bought logo tattooed budget boss muffin coffee

Tired of your comms kit not working well with others? Quocirca's Simon Perry says it's time to push for compatibility in the telepresence space. The technology world is no stranger to the emergence of competing standards - from Blu-ray versus HD DVD, to VHS versus Betamax. Eventually the market chooses a winner which goes on to enjoy accelerated market adoption.

versus market telepresence simon stranger winner emergence accelerate others nthe compatibility working togethertir says standards adoption perry competing eventually betamax

As Alfred Tennyson once wrote: 'the old order changeth yielding place to new', and for the average silver-haired IT manager this is a pressing and worrying thought. These days everyone is talking about Generation Y and the importance of these callow yet tech-savvy youths to our industry.

industry alfr days hair talking average worrying silver weekly callow tennyson everyone tech the manager importance wrote changeth thought savvy

The discipline you apply to managing your business'underlying processes can make all the difference, especially when times get tough, says Quocirca's Clive Longbottom. As an employee, you trust that those responsible for the processes that help support the organisation - such as financial reporting and analysis - have them fully under control.

business process difference fully discipline quocirca chance under responsible says underlying organisation employee analysis especially times support clive apply managing

If you're reading this on Friday 15 May, there's a good chance you're not wearing any trousers. For today is the annual Work From Home day, and quite frankly the best thing about being WFH is the reduced importance of sartorial correctness. Over the past five days the Work Wise initiative has been encouraging people to join in the event aimed at raising awareness of the benefits of flexible working, with the hope of increasing the number of homeworkers to more than 14 million by 2011.

weekly sartorial reading friday nover homeworkers flexible chance wearing aim increasing five days annual event trousers million home initiative wise

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. Oh, what's that? You're not sitting comfortably at all, but sprawled on your super-king sized divan and you want the pillows plumped up and the duvet straightened?

sitting comfortably sprawl plump divan pillows straighten size weekly king duvet round super begin

Never say those Redmond guys give up easily - Microsoft has tilted its lance at Google once more in the search engine wars. Microsoft's latest charge at its multi-coloured search windmill is underway again after Steve Ballmer unveiled the follow-up to Live Search. Except this time it isn't a search engine it's a 'decision engine'.

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Bada Bing! Some more on Microsoft's latest attempt to catch up with Google in the search engine race - Bing. Or, rather, as The Round-Up likes to think of it - Bing!

bing round weekly rather search nsome latest race engine microsoft attempt google likes catch

'Web 2.0' has become the one millionth word to be 'accepted' into the English language. That's according to the Global Language Monitor, a company which sifts the web for neologisms in search of formal recognition. Once a word has been used 25,000 times, it gets the stamp of approval.

language word according monitor accept neologisms gets formal stamp approval weekly web once nthat become millionth search times sifts round

Though there are plenty of tools to help businesses shore up data, the lack of policy standards makes the task more difficult than it should be, says Quocirca's Bob Tarzey. The UK's MPs may rue the day a disk listing details of their expenses was leaked to the Daily Telegraph from the House of Commons Fees Office earlier this year, but they were going to be made public at some point anyway, courtesy of the UK's Freedom of Information Act which the MPs themselves passed in to law in 2000.

data quocirca plenty office task tarzey daily loss says public tools telegraph anyway expenses makes business fees freedom listing earlier

The Round-Up is sure you've had a boss who, quite frankly, was a complete git. We all have. Maybe you are such a boss, in which case the Round-Up suggests you take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself where it all went wrong.

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